The dream was always running ahead of me. To catch up, to live for a moment in unison with it, that was the miracle. Anais Nin

Living in the moment...that is the toughest part of life; for me anyway. I find myself constantly thinking about 'what's next?' and losing the moment I have here and now. I have tried yoga, some meditation and staring at the ocean to 'calm my mind' but it's tough for me!!! Anais Anin is one of my favorites and I find this quote of hers quite pivotal at this moment in my life.

Things are bit chaotic here, the kitchen remodel is in full swing meaning no floor, cabinets, water, etc...it will be beautiful once complete and it's been fun watching all the hard work and labor come to fruition.

I'm still without a job and to be honest the frustration is wearing on me; daily. I know the economy is tough and getting worse but after numerous interviews, call-backs and specially made trips to said company I find myself questioning my past experience and merit. I am trying not to let it drain my self esteem but it's such a discouraging time and financially coming from a dual family income down to one has been extremely challenging. I know my story sounds just like many other families across America and I do thank God everyday I have running water and a roof over my head as I've seen several stories about the new face of poverty being once middle income families who now have to separate and live in shelters or in make shift tents. I am trying to be resilient and focus on moving forward and just aching for 'that break' I need to prove to an employer I am worthy...just give me a shot!

Life continues to throw curve balls and repeatedly I ask myself, 'seriously?' but I know God doesn't give us anything he doesn't think we're strong enough to handle. I'm only one person, how can I handle all this and do so with style and grace? It's an exciting, daunting, trying, scary, wonderful time and how we handle it and rise through it all as a family is what the 'good' stuff is made of. It's not through times of laughter and happiness how a family, a couple copes, progresses and moves forward together, but it's in times of turmoil, strife, trouble and woe that truly defines a persons character, relationship and maturity.

So when I try and think, worry, ponder, dream, vision the future I honestly and truly try to stop and 'take pause' and live in this one moment for how can I predict my future when the last year of my life has been an adventure I couldn't have imagined in my wildest dreams?

All I can do and control at this moment (for the most part) is how I respond to adversity, situations and whatever life may throw at me. I'm not perfect; so far from it, thank God for it means I have so much for living and learning to do.

One thing I can promise is the next year is shaping up to be just as wild (if not more), fulfilling, crazy and amazing than the last.

Time to hang on tight and enjoy the ride....