'You don't choose your family. They are God's gift to you, as you are to them.' -- Desmond Tutu

My dad, Sat. April 25

This post is in dedication to my wonderful, amazing family, who humbles me with their 'greatness.'

Last Friday night as some of you may or may not know at our urgence, my dad was admitted to a hospital in Seattle. For those who know my father understand he appears to be this giant, looming, scary creature of few words but to those who know him best, this is all a facade for he is a gentle giant, with a huge heart and determination (and or what we like to call stubbornness.) Dad is extremely stubborn! For weeks he has been ill with a sciatica and had been taking Advil (copious amounts) as well as a whole host of other pain medications to try and alleviate his severe back pain.

He had grown accustomed to sleeping 2 - 3 hours a night, vertical, in a chair due to the pain and seldom walking anywhere if not a dire need as the only comfort he found was in sitting.

Monday April 20, my dad received a cortisone shot for his sciatica in hopes of finally finding some relief. Days went on and dad's condition seemed to worsen. He became extremely pale, yellow almost, was dizzy, lightheaded, not eating and a bit incoherent. My mom and I at this point were talking hourly about what she should do. He refused to go to the MD or hospital as he was convinced this was a reaction to the cortisone shot. (Again, stubborn!)

Meanwhile my mom and I googled cortisone shots, called nurses and sought out advice. (Which by the way none of them mentioned the symptoms he had as a side affect.) One does not want to panic, but I told my mom, 'Trust your instincts. If something doesn't feel right - do something. People have gone to the hospital for lesser things.'

About 6pm Friday night PST, I got a call from my brother and mother all at once that 'dad was looking worse, incoherent and completely out of it...had thrown up in my mom's car while on his way home from work.' That was it. We were done. At our behest and desperate pleas dad decided it was time to go to the hospital. I think he knew he was very, very sick.

As you can imagine, being as close to my family as I am and currently 3,000 miles away made me feel helpless, inadequate, lost and sad all at once. I was the one who used to be there to take care of my parents if anything arose. What was I too do now? What could I do now from so far away?

Upon being admitted to the hospital and after what seemed like HOURS of testing dad was admitted to ICU. His blood sugar levels were through the roof, his creatin levels off the charts and he had lost half his blood! He was bleeding internally. Half his blood...gone.

The MD's told him he almost died...had he waited any longer the consequences might have been more severe. My brother and mother saved his life. They diligently called me every 10, 15, 20 mins. with updates. I was glued to my phone and afraid to even go to the bathroom or change rooms for fear of losing a connection.

Dad was immediately given a blood transfusion that would last through the night. We still had no idea where the blood loss was coming from and were all on pins and needles awaiting any sort of diagnosis.

This moment, the breath I breathed, these conversations I had seemed like a 'dream, a nightmare rather.' I went into fight or flight mode and vowed I would not break down, cry, lose it or think anything but positive thoughts. I had to put the 'good out there.' This was something I could do 3,000 miles away.

Sleep didn't come easily and I feared the phone ringing late at night. Saturday after a battery of more tests, a GI probe of his intestines and stomach they had found dad has a very rare syndrome called Barrett's Esophageal in conjunction with a bleeding ulcer due to a combination of his coumadin and Advil but more importantly that he was going to be ok...

I felt such a relief, a wave of emotion washed over me and I finally let the tears fall. Moments like these define a family. My family rallied together. My sister dropped everything and drove to Seattle to be with my family, my brother guided my mom and dad to the hospital, stayed with dad, kept me up to constant date on his condition and made sure dad was getting the best care possible.

Often times families fight over silly things, or siblings hold grudges or even go years and lifetimes without talking to one another but they also, as mine did, prove to me how very lucky and fortunate I am to be considered 'one of them.' They make me proud and honored. This was one of the most emotional, difficult times we have faced as a family and we did with grace and with love for one another.

Dad is home now. He will continue to get tests to ensure his levels are headed in the right direction and discuss treatment / next steps for Barrett's Syndrome. He is still weak and recovering from such severe blood loss and probably wont be back at work for a bit but continues to get stronger with each day.

I thank you all for your calls, emails, comments and shared stories...it meant the world to me. For a moment, those 3,000 miles didn't feel so far away and for that I thank you.

Family, I'LL SEE YOU SOON!!! Kiss to dad.